Drunk

drunk

I scream into the lamp

pretend it’s my

microphone and

the empty room’s

really a crowd

of adoring fans

hanging on

my every word

Drunk Dialing

another night of drinking but

this time I’m thinking of you

haven’t heard from you in years

but I’m convinced

you’ve been wondering about me

and the last time I saw you

I remember

your hair was long and

kept falling down over one eye

and when I get home

I search for your number

finding it buried among

a pile of old Christmas cards

dialing past three in the morning

hearing it ring before

a man’s voice drenched with sleep

says hello and

when I ask for you

full of delusions

he says

who the hell is this

and I say

it’s Jim

my own name sounding strange

like it belongs to somebody else

the phone dead in my ear

and I can’t sleep

knowing you’re still out there

waiting for me to call

Last Saturday Night

I remember

I was talking to this woman

trying to tell her

how good I thought she looked

I told her we weren’t used to

seeing women like her around here and

it was just about that time

when he came bursting through the door

with this big wave of excitement

rushing in behind him

he was laughing and

talking really loud and

he started buying everybody drinks

we had all called him Buck

for as long as I could remember

I guess because

he never seemed to have any

but tonight he was throwing money around

like it was nothing more than sand

he’d gathered from the playground

over at the school and

he kept saying my friends

like he wanted to give a speech

but then he’d just laugh and

buy us all another round of drinks

he threw handfuls of quarters at people and

told them to go play

something good on the jukebox and

word must have got out somewhere along the way

because people kept pouring in all the time and

whenever I found my glass empty

another drink would magically appear and

at some point during the night

I thought I heard people singing and

I don’t remember how I got home

when I returned to the bar

on the following Wednesday

the bartender hurried over to me and

asked me if I’d heard about Buck

I started to laugh

thinking about last Saturday night

they found him this morning

the bartender said

I guess somebody went to check on him

because he hadn’t been to work for a couple of days

the bartender slid me a beer

then he said

I guess he hung himself in his garage

I already had the bottle to my lips and

I took a long drink

Saturday Night Sequence

1.

the apartment

is crowded

when we

get there

takes us

what seems

like hours

to reach

the keg

setting in

the kitchen where

people gathered

around the

table play

quarters scream

with laughter and

the music

blares from

another room

people spilling

into the

hallway dripping

across the lawn

when the police

arrive everyone

scatters empty

cups and

broken furniture

and someone

nobody recognizes

passed out

on the floor

in the back

bedroom

2.

Gus slips

going down

the stairs

sits there

with his

head in

his hands

not wanting

to move

and people

just walk

around him

as if he’s

part of

the stairs

and not

some drunk

blocking

their way

3.

when we got

to the restaurant

I went straight

to the restroom

and vomited

while the others

ordered their food

stayed in there

until Gus came

checking on me

to see if I was

alright I said

I was okay

and wanted

something to eat

rinsed the taste

from my mouth

looked at my face

in the mirror

before going out

to get my burger

and my fries

4.

we found

ourselves at

Burger King

after another

long night

of drinking

and there

was this guy

who went

around to

each table

saying things

like I'll

bet you

I can stuff

a whole burger

into my

mouth or

I can eat

the rest of

your fries

in ten seconds

because

he was hungry

and broke

and didn't

want to ask

can I have

something to eat?

5.

we were

walking

to the dorm

returning

from the party

when I lost

my balance

and fell

backwards

my glasses

flying off

from the impact

of my fall

and I just

lay there

looking up

at the sky

laughing

as Todd

picked up

my glasses

put them on

and started

stumbling

around like

a blind man

and I didn't

care just

lay there

a little longer

laughing

as drunken

people passed

by us without

giving us

a second glance

6.

I remember

the night

I went to

Annette's room

when I was

very drunk

Annette and

her roommate

had painted

their room

that day

and I fell

between

the beds

pushed together

in the middle

of the room

away from

the walls

and Annette

screamed at me

to get out

she was wearing

a long shirt

and looked

so sexy

that I wanted

to stay

but was

too drunk

so I stumbled

home alone

Wrong Place Wrong Time

it was a rough place

in a bad part of town

at two in the morning and

I don’t know what I was doing there

I guess

I’d had one too many and

didn’t feel like going home

but the big goon at the end of the bar

kept asking me

if I wanted to step outside and

I kept telling him no

because

it was way too cold and

I said

we should just stay here

where it was warm and

have another beer

but he didn’t seem to

find me very funny and

his girlfriend kept screaming at him

punching his arm with her tiny fists

saying

come on big Ronnie

go ahead and kick his ass

don’t let him get away with that

until I wanted to reach over and

slap her across the face and

what made it even worse was

she was this sexy little thing and

I knew old Ronnie would try to do

anything he could

just to make her happy

so I ordered another beer

even though

I didn’t really want it

but I figured the drunker I got

the less pain I’d feel later on

when the girlfriend

finally

got her way

Vacation

one bottle of wine

five cans of beer and

tonight

I’m going to drink them

it’s Friday again and

I’ve been on vacation

this whole week

we’ve had good weather

but I haven’t gone anywhere

because

I never do

I like staying at home

it’s so much easier

that way

I don’t spend any money and

there’s nothing I need

anyway

I open the wine

tossing the cork

into the bottom drawer

o f my desk

because

I like saving them and

I see lots of them in there

rolling around

but I’m not sure how many

I haven’t counted them

for a long time

but later on

just for the hell of it

maybe I will

Last Call

it’s almost closing time and

there are just a few of us left

sitting around the bar

listening to one more song

rising from the jukebox and

as I finish my beer and

push the bottle away

I can’t help thinking about her

wondering

where she could be tonight

because

she never showed up and

it just isn’t like her

I mean

she’s always here with the rest of us

drinking and laughing and

tossing back her long dark hair

don’t get me wrong

there’s nothing

going on between us

I was just noticing her absence and

what the hell do I know

maybe

I’m too drunk or

maybe

I’ve grown too old

I don’t know

the faces look the same to me

but the names keep changing and

it feels cold in here tonight

I know it’s getting late and

the bartender’s

waiting for the last call

so he can clear the place out and

lock all the doors

but I need somewhere else to go

tonight

because I’m not ready to go home